I've been going to Posener's Pankration and Muay Thai for about a year and a half now. I originally signed up for some self defense skills after a friend of mine was assaulted. Since then I have grown to love it and want to apply myself to learn more.
I started in the cardio class that has minimal contact. As I learned more I wanted to have more contact kicking and sparring to apply the skills I was learning. The full Muay Thai classes are 99.9% men. Most of the guys are pretty cool, some treat you like you will break if they touch you and some have no respect at all to your 'newbie' status and whale away. I appreciate them not treating me special, however. Those boys will get theirs from me one day. Mark my words!
So I found it awesome that there was going to be a womens only sparring class at the gym! To allow the ladies to get accostomed to full contact without the intimidation. And yes, it was awesome!
Buddy Guy July 1996 to January 30, 2014 She was the runt of the litter and lasted the longest. It's so very quiet without her complaining always about everything. I miss her very much. She's back with her brother, Rainman and the girls, Ella and Sarah. Rest in peace and run free.
This last year was a challenge in so many ways. I wasn't posting very much as it was all down and depressing. An all out craptastic year.
It really started when we put Sarah down, then it carried on. The Guy's mom was diagnosed with cancer and scheduled for surgery. Before she could have her operation the Guy's mom took a fall and ended up in the hospital. Then she died. The Guy lost his job. His best friend was diagnosed with cancer. Old Ellers was diagnosed with kidney failure. My father had a serious health crisis and I made an emergency trip to see him. The hits, they kept on coming.
There I was, in a new place, as sole breadwinner and supporter of our family. I was the counsellor, the bill payer, the shoulder to cry on, the housekeeper, the care giver. The pressure and the stress was intense. I lost 30 pounds. My hair started to fall out and my familial tremor was out of control.
I hunkered down and took it. Other crap happened and I stood there and took it. I was at the point of giving it all up a couple times. I just wanted to ditch everything and start anew with nothing to tie me down.
Thank God for friends. Especially the best one. I was well supported. I could pour out my frustrations and anger and share the positive inklings that were happening. I was always listened to, humoured and well advised. I started to see a light at the end of this long, very dark tunnel. I started to take care of me first. Some might call it selfish but there was nothing else I could do. I couldn't help anyone else. I couldn't do anything more.
Then the worst happened. It was time to put old Ella down. After months of palliative caregiving it was time. It was heartbreaking. I knew it was coming. I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew how much it would hurt me. I knew the Guy would be devasted. I knew. And it was all those things.
Then it started to get better. With the stress and burden of taking care of old Ella gone I could feel a weight off my shoulders. There was still a lot of weight there but I managed better. I started to get more help from the Guy. Small things that made a world of difference. I started to see this chapter coming to an end. Lord knows I was ready for it to end!
I think we've turned the page. I look forward to this new year and all that it will bring. I have made some promises to myself I intend to keep. There's a saying in our house that I haven't spoken in a long time.